How to cope with difficulties? 2 remedies for troubled times.
Recently I came across this quote:
Some poor phoneless fool is probably sitting next to a waterfall somewhere totally unaware of how angry and scared he's supposed to be. - Duncan Trussell
How good is this? It's funny because it's true 😊. And confronting at the same time. Next to all the beauty we have in the world, it's sometimes painful to realize how we are living or are being lived.
Always on.
Status & ego.
Not really knowing who we are or what we want.
Seeking distraction, quick fixes and short-lived pleasures.
Constantly bombarded with negative news or fake realities.
Fear & stress.
Closed-mindedness & strong arguments on opposing points of view.
Computer screens.
More screens.
Addictions.
Ok, ok, maybe it's not all that bad and extreme but still, some things are pretty crazy.
Aren't we trapped to some extend in ways of living that do not make us happy? They're maybe not necessarily making us unhappy, or maybe they do, but in any case life has so much more to offer than just feeling "fine".
You can read my thoughts on the importance of investing in yourself for living a life fully lived in this blogpost.
And now this pandemic... We cannot even travel peacefully to seek out that waterfall, like the poor phoneless fool.
We are completely shaken in our habits, confined in our bubbles and challenged in our adaptability. It's impacting our moods, our stress-levels, our energy and our optimism.
Nevertheless, I want to bring a positive message.
How can we all try to be more like the phoneless fool sitting next to a waterfall totally unaware of how angry and scared we’re supposed to be? Not to close ourselves off from the world but
to have more peace of mind;
to not be impacted as strongly by the current pandemic and the negative elements that sneak into our lives;
to live more in line with what is good and helpful for our well-being;
and to work on a life that makes us happy.
In other words, how can we counter all of the above challenges and make sure we balance it with optimism and positivity?
I see 2 fundamental tools to keep balance in our lives, 2 remedies if you will for the current challenges.
Remedy 1 - Meditation
Observe
Meditation can be seen as one stream of this metaphoric waterfall bringing you more peace of mind. When you take a moment to turn inward, you tune out the noise and get in touch with what you are feeling and possibly also with the impact your thinking has on your feelings. When you start to realize that your thoughts are sometimes or oftentimes not helpful, you can then learn, through the meditation process, to observe them and the related emotions without getting fully entangled. With that, you've graduated in the first level of mindfulness: present moment awareness without judgement.
This is the foundation to get to work with your mind instead of letting it work you. You can observe your thoughts and distance yourself mentally and emotionally from the turmoil going on inside and around you. You’re calm, which means less stress, less worry, less fear.
This is seemingly trivial but it’s a transformational tool at your disposal. And the more you use it, the more you’ll be able to do with it. Meditation is the mental equivalent of physical exercise. Your mind will get sharper and stronger and will be able to handle more, the same way as over time you’ll be able to add more weight to your bicep curls.
Your spark
Meditation also gets you in touch with the spark that makes you you. You’re self-esteem grows because of it and you become less dependent on the opinions of others.
You’re you, not who someone else thinks you should be.
Once that spark is ignited, it becomes much easier to understand what an impact media and society have on the way you believe you should live your life. Now, you create your own opinions, rooted in that spark.
Kindness
Meditation side-effect warning: when doing it regularly, it will also become much easier to be kind to yourself and others. When making meditation, stillness and personal growth part of your lifestyle, you grow into a super spreader of love and compassion as an antidote to fear and worry. Too much? Namaste. But whether this is the tool that works for you or not, we can all use more kindness, even more so during this pandemic.
Immunity
A last often overlooked point: studies have shown that meditation also boosts your immune system. So it might even help you fighting off covid or any other illnesses. There is a simple explanation for this: when you meditate, you put your nervous system at rest which means your body can move from fight or flight into rest and relax, which is the repair-mode of your body, boosting your immune system and creating balance after the stresses and worries.
If you’d like to know more about mediation and what it could do for you, you can check the extra articles at the bottom of this blogpost.
Remedy 2 - Mindset
Ownership
Mindset is another stream of the metaphoric waterfall that can be used to level up your mood or limit the impact of difficult emotions. Once you can observe your thoughts and emotions and look at them from some distance (not being fully entangled in them, see remedy 1), you create the possibility to influence and take ownership of this cycle (thought —> emotion —> behavior —> result).
This means you can also start taking ownership of your own happiness and success. You can start influencing how you feel, you can level up your self-esteem, you can actively decide what type of person you want to be. All thanks to the power of your mindset and the believe that you can influence what you experience and achieve in life.
This requires effort, training and persistence because you are rewiring your brain to a certain extend, overwriting old thought- and habit patterns, some of them being there since you were a kid. So patience and persistence will be key. But the good news is that you also develop these 2 qualities through meditation (remedy 1).
Sidenote: at the foundation of the ownership mindset is the belief that you can grow and change as a person (growth mindset).
If you’d like to know more about the growth mindset, check this post.
If you’d like to read more about the power of belief, you can check this blogpost.
Focus on the positive
Another way you can put your mindset at work is to consciously choose to focus more on the positive. We’re hardwired to pay more attention to ánd to remember better the (potential) negative things in our life. It’s our survival instinct at work: this way of thinking increases our chance for survival (300.000 years ago more than it does now, but the mechanism is still part of us).
Understanding this means you understand that bringing more positive elements in your life does not necessarily mean you need to change your behavior or do more positive or pleasant things (which also works). It means in the first place that you can change the way you look at things and that you can consciously choose to recognize and appreciate the positive ones (more). By doing so, just by using your mind, you’re creating more positivity and happiness in your life and using it as an antidote to negativity.
You can find more info on this in this blogpost, and you can download a journal template to support you in focusing more on the positive.
By the way, becoming happier and living more the life that yoú want is not only good for you, it's also great for the people around you. It’s the happiness ripple effect.
Call to Action
If you want to develop these skills, feel free to contact me or explore the free resources.
If you want to support your employees in learning how they can master their mood and mindset, give them the tools to increase happiness, energy and performance, and on top of that give them the opportunity to reconnect on a deeper level with each other, check out this page.
If you want to get a taste of meditation, check the event calendar if there are any sessions planned soon.
And let’s connect on social media: Instagram , Facebook , LinkedIn, Youtube.
To a life fully lived!
Jan Aquarius - Live. Grow. Matter.
Extra resources
Here are some other blogpost that give you more insights in the benefits of meditation:
