Beyond the Finish Line: Celebrating the Journey Of Growth
I did it—my second marathon is in the books! While it feels incredible to check off another goal, this time, it’s not just about the finish line. Instead of focusing on the achievement, I’m celebrating something far more meaningful: the journey itself.
Of course, I’m proud of the achievement—it’s rewarding and even a bit emotional. Achieving goals and celebrating success are essential for behavior change and building self-confidence but it’s not where true fulfilment can be found. Running this marathon was more than a test of endurance; it was a path to becoming a new, stronger version of myself. Along the way, I discovered that fulfilment comes from who we become in the process and how we learn to enjoy the journey. The beauty lies in balancing the desire to grow into a better version of ourselves with appreciating who we are right now.
Finding New Strength Through the Journey
At 40, I’m probably fitter than I was at 30. Without this marathon goal, I wouldn’t have committed to consistent training or made supportive lifestyle changes—like cutting out alcohol, sugar, and caffeine.
The goal serves as both a guide and an accountability partner, helping you set a course toward the person you aspire to become. For me, I've now become the person that can stick to a training plan, accomplish challenging goals, and believe in possibilities beyond my original expectations, which is a major self-confidence contributor.
The growth and the comfort zone expansion are real. As I expanded my comfort zone, my concept of long-distance for example has shifted—from 10K to 20K, to 30K and beyond. My cousin just did a 175k ultra-trail in the mountains. For him, a marathon now seems short.
This is a great metaphor for skill building and self-confidence. Your reality changes as you stretch yourself—your perception of what is difficult and of who you are as a person shifts. That’s growth. That’s self-development. That’s proof of (personality) change throughout the journey.
How to Use Goals for Fulfillment and Growth
Set result-goals (like running a marathon) as a pull factor, as milestones on your growth journey. But that’s only a small part of successful growth. The crucial next step is to make sure you translate result-goals into clear process-goals and habits which provide you the ingredients for a new you. Success shouldn’t be defined by reaching the goal but by committing to the process and building habits along the way. This is where real change happens—and where joy and pride in the journey resides.
In the past, I mainly focused on achieving the goal. Now, I see goals as tools for lifestyle transformation, shaping a new me. Goals are means to an end, not the end in themselves. Reaching them is a bonus; not reaching them is okay too. This mindset is liberating, putting the fun back into growth—even the struggles.
If you can learn to love the process and to not solely focus on the outcome, you can fall in love with growing towards the person you'd like to be, without fearing failure (as much).
The funny or interesting thing is that when you talk about a marathon goal with others, they usually ask me about my time / time goal, the pressure or stress that comes with it, or the pain or defeat I would feel if I wouldn’t finish it. We seem to be hard-wired to focus on the result, the stresses of working towards a goal or attempting to achieve something, and the risks and pains of failure. For this goal, I can proudly say: the results really didn't matter for me, which made it also impossible to fail or experience failure.
I've had this goal on the horizon in some shape or form since 2017 when I created my phone's background during my world travel. I realized somewhere in New-Zealand how much I love the fun and the challenge of running in nature and planted a flag to make trail running a part of my life. That’s what brought me to a trail marathon last year, and eventually to this second marathon.
Self-Reflection: This Year’s Marathon
This year’s marathon was different. I set the goal in April, somewhat randomly, aiming to run on October 31. Not finding an organized event for that day or week, I decided to run it solo. Again, the process of consistent training was put in place thanks to the goal, and because I had the goal but no marathon to run, I ran it anyways. The power of goals is real. But the experience of running it was different than last year’s marathon. I had to tap more into my own motivation as there was no external accountability (an organized marathon I subscribed to, a friend that goes along with me, …) and during the run, there were no people cheering me on either.
It made me reflect in the morning on why I am actually doing this? The weather was also grim and cold, a perfect reason for my mind to step into sabotaging-mode. And while I wasn’t giving into it, I realized that there is an external motivator present as well: I’m not only doing this for myself and my own growth but also to be validated by others.
This showed me that this is where I have work to do, to at the core feel more okay with who I am (self-worth). I’ve come a long way, and more and more I see that this is probably one of the most important “goals” for most humans—to start appreciating ourselves more for who we are and needing less validation from others. As you now know, the true aim here isn’t to reach the goal of not feeling the need for validation, but to start the journey and to move steadily toward more self-appreciation. When we love ourselves, it’s easier to be kind, patient, and compassionate toward others and have less frustrations, anger, etc. This journey brings higher levels of fulfilment and a positive impact on the people around us—my ultimate motivation in life and work. Or should I say my ultimate goal?
From marathons to creating a positive ripple effect and self-love, how did we end up here? I hope you enjoyed the journey of reading this article and that you, like me, see that investing in yourself is an act of self-love and love for others.
Can we embrace who we are and at the same time commit to the journey of becoming a kinder, more confident and more compassionate version of ourselves?
If you’d like support or guidance on your own journey toward growth and self-acceptance, just drop me a message.
With love,
Jan
❤️
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If you'd like more information on some of these topics, you can check out some other posts:
https://www.janaquarius.com/podcast/goal-setting
https://www.janaquarius.com/podcast/goal-getting
https://www.janaquarius.com/podcast/clarity-and-purpose
https://www.janaquarius.com/thrive-academy
https://www.janaquarius.com/blog/de-ontbrekende-link-voor-meer-succes-voldoening-en-geluk
https://www.janaquarius.com/blog/search-for-the-person-you-aspire-to-be
#goals #happiness #joy #fulfilment #peaceofmind #highperformance #marathon #theprocessisthegoal